I Am Bowser, Hear Me Roar!
by phineas81707
Summary: Political unrest crushes the Mushroom Kingdom, as Count Black has declared war on Queen Toadstool. With too many heroes falling out of the picture, it falls on Bowser to use all of his training fighting Mario to take back the Mushroom Kingdom before Count Black causes certain doomy dooms.
1. Blackest Sport

Mario crouched down in preparation for a sprint. A Toad stood beside him with a stopwatch. Mario looked down World 1-1 another time, before focusing back on his arms.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean, this is one of the weirdest ideas I have ever heard!" Toad claimed.

"I am ready for this. Bring it on!" Mario stated. Toad rolled his eyes, and pulled out a chequered flag.

"Ready… set… go!" Toad claimed. Mario was off like a rocket, grabbing a Super Mushroom immediately, and tagging a Goomba. Toad turned around, and took a shortcut to Bowser's Castle.

* * *

Mario arrived in a black room of Bowser's, coated in grey brick. Bowser pulled out a series of hammers, and threw them all at his opponent. Mario dived under Bowser's legs, and sent Bowser into the lava. He hurried into the room where Peach was held, and tagged her.

"How did I do?" Mario asked the Toad, who was standing right next to them.

"4:57:69," the Toad read off the stopwatch.

"WAHOO!" Mario cheered. He had broken his all-time record at Kidnap.

* * *

The Mushroom Kingdom is a prosperous land. It is ruled by Queen Toadstool, who is one of the most effective rulers in the entire world. However, she is socially inhibited, which is where her sister comes in. Princess Peach is out-going, but she could never rule a kingdom. She serves as a figurehead ruler while Toadstool does all the work in the background.

The kingdom is well known for its competitive tournaments. It has formed bonds with kingdoms all across the globe in all sorts of competitions: from go-kart racing to controlled fighting to the Olympic Games, and everything in between. The Mushroom Kingdom has always hosted these events, or at the very least been a major organiser of them. However, the most famous sport in the kingdom is one exclusive to it.

This sport is known as Kidnap. It started as a training exercise by the war commander Bowser, to see if two then-rookies really had what it takes to defend their princess. The aim of the game is that one man, or a small team, goes up against a large army to attempt to defeat a villain and save a princess. This is a popular sport amongst the kingdom, but not so much with other nations, who have only participated once each. The typical hero is Mario, the very first hero to play. The typical villain is Bowser, one of the most dangerous warriors in the land. The typical princess is Peach, who allows herself to be taken from her duties to participate. The sport is _that _popular.

But I speak too much. Let us return to the story at hand.

* * *

Mario, Peach and Bowser headed back to Toadstool Castle after that game. The carpet was magnificent, but the walls were bare of all but trace graffiti.

"You were amazing, Mario!" Peach said, curtseying. Mario nodded. He had become quite an adept, and this time trial was a test to see how adept he was.

"No wonder the kingdom likes seeing you play the hero! I sometimes wonder how quickly a real villain would go down…" Bowser said, patting Mario on the back. Mario staggered forward, brushing some dust off his knees.

"You're too kind, Bowser," Mario said. To 'defeat' an enemy in Kidnap, one had to simply tag them. A real enemy would be much harder to defeat, and the battle would thus take longer.

"…Yeah, maybe I am. But you _are_ a promising competitor…" Bowser said. Peach grabbed Mario's hand.

"That, he definitely is," she said, smiling. A nice whirring sound was heard, and a Mario appeared in the wall. This one looked as if he was made of paper.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Beat my… no, _the_ top score in the original Kidnap course!" Mario stated. Paper Mario beamed with pride.

"Nice to see that third dimension isn't stopping you," Paper Mario pointed out. Paper Mario was confined to walk on walls. He could use anything drawn on them to his advantage, and was theoretically the best warrior in the kingdom.

"Paper Mario, would you ever consider a game of Kidnap one day?" Bowser asked.

"Can't, buddy. I've got stuff I'm working on," Paper Mario stated. His inability to access the third dimension meant that, of course, Paper Mario could not leave Toadstool Castle. He elected to not draw attention to this, and no one could truthfully say they knew if this lack of freedom bothered him. Though 'having stuff to work on' was a common excuse, so it could well be that it was true.

"Anyway, Queen Toadstool would like for you to join her in a luncheon," Paper Mario stated. Mario, Peach, and Bowser nodded, and diverted in course.

* * *

"Greetings, sister, Lord Bowser and Lord Mario. Please, take a seat," Queen Toadstool said, gesturing to the table. Luigi was already seated on it. Mario, Peach and Bowser sat down, Bowser taking care to sit on his designated seat. He noticed that sitting on a chair not tailored to his needs tended to reduce it to splinters. Queen Toadstool remained standing.

"You're probably wondering why I brought you here. Well… no sense beating around the bush. The Dark Land is rebelling," Toadstool stated.

"Rebellion? But for what reason? What have we ever done to them…?" Bowser asked.

"They have undergone a change in leadership. Their new ruler, Count Black, has imposed dramatic changes in policy since his coronation. He has decreed it offensive for our nation to be ruled by a matriarch," Queen Toadstool stated.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! You have been crown Queen for years, and no one gave a stir! Why now, all of a sudden, cause unrest?" Peach asked.

"They say I have been too poor a leader. I have never appeared in public. And I have befriend too many nations," Toadstool said. Luigi rolled his eyes.

"That last one is completely pointless! And since when did a ruler have to appear in public on top of everything you do? The best explanation I can come up with is they want to force you to take a break!" Luigi exclaimed.

"It's more than a break," Mario said. Everyone turned to him. He had been silently digesting the conversation up until now.

"Black wants the throne. He wants you out of charge and him in. I can't fathom why, but I feel like it is nothing good. We conduct a lot of dangerous sports in the kingdom… This cannot end well," he theorized. Toadstool nodded slowly.

"So far, his movement is an unpopular one. He will not gain much ground. But it's better to be safe than sorry. I shall marry," Queen Toadstool said. This statement was met with uproar from the attendees of the meeting.

"Sister, you're not going to get married! You're lucky to still be in the room with these three!" Peach pointed out. Toadstool slowly nodded.

"I admit that's a minor setback-" Queen Toadstool began.

"That's a major setback, Toadstool. Between us, you have two potential suitors, with a major emphasis on potential. Not only that, but you sister is also crushing on both of them!" Luigi pointed out. Mario and Bowser looked between each other. They realised the truth in Luigi's words. Peach did like both of them, but they were Toadstool's only choices.

"Now what do we do?" Mario asked.

"We'll continue on as if nothing has happened. Black can't do much to us yet. Peach, you'll have to hurry and make your choice. Sooner or later, Black will have the momentum he needs to unleash a civil war. We are a peaceful society, and the best battle experience we have is at Kidnap. We can't turn to Hyrule or Sarasaland or any other kingdom for this, or Black can do the same. Peach, there is more than you know that depends on your ability to choose a suitor!" Bowser explained. Peach nodded solemnly.

"I'll do my best," Peach said.

* * *

Mario walked back home with Luigi. Peach had organised a dinner with him for tomorrow, and Luigi decided to accompany him for the first time in a while. The Mushroom Kingdom was still busy at work for the next competition, and Mario sadly observed this.

"What's wrong, bro?" Luigi asked. Mario pointed to the Toad workers.

"This site could become a battlefield if Black gets a chance. Tell me, what chance do we have; only using Mushroom Kingdom fighters?" Mario asked. Luigi opened his mouth, and closed it.

"It depends on how much momentum Black can make. But Mario, there are only seven Star Children, and you can rely on only five. Remember, this war will be a long time coming, and you know what Wario's like…" Luigi stated. Mario nodded. The Star Children were Mario, Luigi, Wario, Yoshi, Peach, Donkey Kong, and Bowser. Wario was a mercenary who'd betray anyone for a huge supply of dough, and Luigi was due to be wed to Princess Daisy of Sarasaland. The marriage would elevate Luigi to a ruler of Sarasaland, and thus he could not be involved in a civil war for the Mushroom Kingdom.

"…Thought as much. But it's still a disappointing thought…" Mario said. He was incredibly worried about a potential war. There were so many variables in what could happen, and each and every one was terrifying to envision.

Mario and Luigi entered Mario's House. He still lived alone, and Mario enjoyed this. He was not looking forward to moving in to Toadstool Castle, no matter who he was to marry. He decided to take his mind off it by pulling out a piece of paper, and smoothing it flat. He started to write a series of names down.

"What is this?" Luigi asked. He saw Mario, Peach and Bowser's names at the head of the list.

"This is a list of every major warrior in the kingdom. I plan to keep an eye on how large the two sides are."

"Relax. For all you know, the war will never happen!" Luigi said.

"I will be prepared for every eventuality."

"Don't you think this is a little too much?" Luigi asked one last time.

"No. I do not," Mario stated. Luigi nodded, and left for Sarasaland.

* * *

*cough* *cough*

"Oh no…" Queen Toadstool sighed, getting up and walking over to her sister. Peach had fallen ill. Paper Mario slithered through the walls as well. He had pulled out a book, and was looking between its pages and Peach.

"It's nothing major, Paper Mario. No need to panic," Toadstool assured Paper Mario. Paper Mario nodded, and looked back at his book. Toadstool sighed, and turned to Peach. Peach moaned sickly.

"You need to take a rest, sister. You can't get out in this state," Toadstool told Peach firmly.

"But… with all due respect, sister, you cannot accept any more burdens! I simply must be up and about to assist you!" Peach demanded. Toadstool shook her head. Paper Mario moved to the head of Peach's bed, and coughed.

"Toadstool, this is more serious than I thought. This illness does not seem to match the symptoms described of any common illness. I fear that she may have been sickened by an outside source," Paper Mario said. Toadstool shook her head.

"This is just a common illness. This is not an attack!" Toadstool responded, shaking her head fearfully. With the subject matter at hand, it made sense for the kingdom to be in a state of paranoia. But this was just too much!

"Queen Toadstool, you must listen to me! Peach is in a really bad way! You have to send her to get healed! She's not going to throw this off!" Paper Mario practically begged. Toadstool looked down at Peach, who seemed to have lost quite a bit of colour during the short discussion. Toadstool relented.

"I'll send her to Yoshi's Island. The Yoshi will take care of her. And… I will take on her tasks," Toadstool said.

"Queen, not this time! You are simply too shy to try and accomplish anything! Particularly in the current climate…" Paper Mario stated. Toadstool shook her head.

"I must do what is necessary. I must keep Peach's appointments intact, precisely because of Black's outrage. If we allow him any more fuel to a smear, we risk the safety of the kingdom! As the Queen, I cannot allow that to happen! Peach, can you-?" Toadstool asked. Peach shook her head. She was too far gone to speak.

* * *

"So, you need our tribe to cure her?" Yoshi asked. He had arrived punctually, and without question. Toadstool nodded, and pulled out a Pocket Warp Pipe. These temporary devices allowed one to travel to a place in which they needed to go, but were one-use items. As such, people tended to use existing Warp Pipes, which were in enough convenient places to serve the public well. Yoshi knew that there was a sense of urgency in Toadstool.

"Should you really?" Yoshi asked. Toadstool nodded.

"I will be taking on Peach's appearance and duties in the meanwhile. I will pass off as her, and I want as few people as possible to know I am the shy Queen. This pipe will take you directly to Yoshi's Island. Do not let anybody know you are caring for the Princess. Least of all Black," Toadstool told Yoshi. Yoshi nodded. Her words made sense.

"Will there really be a war?" Yoshi asked worriedly, putting Peach on his back.

"…All too likely, our faithful companion," Toadstool reluctantly admitted. Yoshi stepped through the Pocket Warp Pipe, and returned to his island. Paper Mario stood on the wall behind the Pipe.

"…Don't call on me, Toadstool. I have something urgent I must attend to. I can only hope the effort has value," Paper Mario said. Toadstool nodded.

"You are a loyal ally to the crown, Paper Mario. Unless your efforts are also trapped in the castle, anything you can do will be of great help," Toadstool said. She turned, and began her transformation into Peach.

* * *

Toadstool walked to Mario's house, disguised as her sister Peach. In her opinion, she looked the splitting image of her sister. However, her fears never lay with disguising herself: she was identical to Peach in her younger years, before her parents died and left her to run the kingdom. It was her much more shy nature to her twin she worried would expose her.

"Peach! Come on in!" Mario cried out. Toadstool gave a small start, before remembering her disguise.

"Hey, Mario!" she responded, but she was instantly worried her disguise was already broken. She stepped into Mario's small shack, and looked around at the simple room. She made a mental note to set aside a castle suite for Mario.

"You're just in time! I cooked some spaghetti and meatballs. I know I'm not going to outdo anything you get in the castle, so don't feel too down," Mario said apologetically. Toadstool nodded, and made a start on trying to eat. She didn't like the taste of meats, so avoided the meatballs. She regretfully wondered whether Peach did, realising her disguise was falling apart at the seams.

"So… you concerned about Black?" Mario asked. Toadstool jumped at the sudden question.

"Yeah. He's been threatening m- my sister with his stupid rules. I really don't like him. I don't suppose Toadstool's able to instantly depose him or anything?" Toadstool responded.

"Heh. I'd like for that to be the case. But sadly, we've just gotta deal with Black. I'm worried that him starting a war will be inevitable," Mario said.

"Will you stand by your queen when that time comes?" Toadstool asked.

"Of course I will. She is an amazing woman. She's meek, but that just adds to the appeal. It might just be Kidnap talking, but did I ever mention I've been protective of girls?" Mario gushed. Toadstool smiled slightly.

"I assume you mean that in an unusual sense?" she asked. Mario nodded. Toadstool pondered only for a second what her reaction would be.

"Thank you, Mario! I've made my decision," Toadstool said. Mario looked up at Toadstool confusedly, as she circled the table, and plopped into Mario's lap, snuggling against him.

"Uh, Peach? You OK?" Mario asked.

"Wonderful, Mario. I've got my knight in shining overalls right here," Toadstool said. Mario gently pat Toadstool on the back.

"…Is there something you want to tell me?" Mario asked.

"Yes. Mario… I am the Queen Toadstool. And I think I have a huge crush on you!" Toadstool said.

"Toadstool? But what happened to Peach?" Mario asked in a furore.

"Taken ill. Paper Mario insists it isn't a common illness, but I'm sure it'll pass," Toadstool said. Mario opened his mouth to argue further.

"I know what you're going to say, and do you honestly think no one else has asked?" Toadstool remarked. Mario nodded knowingly. He took Toadstool closer to his chest, and Toadstool beamed.

"I still think this was a stupid idea. But you have made a tremendous step for our kingdom. Thank you, Toadstool. Will you accept me as your groom?" Mario asked.

"Yes, Mario… I will be your bride. I always did think Peach was destined for Bowser," Toadstool responded.

"Same."

* * *

The next morning was a disaster. Mario, Peach and Toadstool had all forgotten about the fact that this day was set for a round of Kidnap. Mario had gotten out of bed and into the castle in time to see Bowser with Toadstool (still masquerading as Peach) in his arms.

"Mario! You've been a thorn in my side far too long!" Bowser roared, in character for his trademark villain.

"Bowser, stop this madness now! You're making a grave mistake!" Mario replied. Bowser scoffed, and teleported to the keep. Mario cursed his luck: of all the ways he could have phrased the fact that 'Peach' was in fact Toadstool, he had to make it sound in character for the hero. He also bitterly regretted the phasing out of the need for a safe word in the sport. But there was another way to get to Bowser in a hurry.

"Mario, what are we going to do?" a Toad boy asked. Mario scooped up a Cape Feather, and turned into Caped Mario. He got a running start, and shot up far into the sky, soaring over the level checkpoints and enemies.

* * *

Mario conducted a nose-dive directly at Bowser's Castle. As predicted, he punched right through the castle brick, and he rushed in between Dry Bones and lava without a care for the system. Several Dry Bones had declared foul, but Mario didn't care. He knocked right into Bowser's room, and faced the Koopa King.

"Bowser, what you're doing isn't right!" Mario said, the words sounding poor even in his head.

"I know! I realised almost immediately. But she was quite insistent," Bowser said, not at all in character. Mario cursed his stupidity.

"Your concern for your queen is quite touching, and completely warranted. We'll work out a solution later. But while we're here, we may as well not ruin the final battle!" Bowser roared, managing to sound intimidating while explaining the situation to Mario.

Mario and Bowser circled one another to the tune of an intimidating beat. Mario hadn't grabbed a Fire Flower, and Bowser was blocking the ending switch incredibly well. Mario could see what he could do, however…

He ran towards Bowser at high speed. Bowser carelessly swatted at Mario, but missed as Mario used his cape to soar right over Bowser, and press the switch. Bowser fell into the lava with which he was completely impervious to, and Mario was the technical victor in this ruined match. The door to the Princess' Chamber opened, and Mario walked in to see a swooning Toadstool.

"A bit of warning would've been nice," Mario grumbled. Toadstool shrugged.

"When?" she asked. Mario grudgingly agreed the situation was really doomed from the moment it started. Toadstool leaned in, and kissed Mario on the cheek, something she hadn't done in the role of princess for nearly twenty years.

"FIRE!" Bowser roared. He leaped into the Princess' Chamber, and Mario and Toadstool turned to see him.

"Fire?" Mario asked.

"This isn't supposed to happen! Something has rerouted the lava! Mario, this is real danger, and not just the fake danger we rig! We have to get out of here, now!" Bowser said. Mario gasped, and turned to Queen Toadstool.

"Get her out of here! You're immune to regular lava, right? You can get her out with ease?" Mario asked of Bowser.

"Yes… can you get out?" Bowser asked, worried for his comrade in arms. After thirty years of the sport, Bowser's opinion of Mario had changed from a lazy solider to a powerful ally.

"I caped in here, I can cape out. Just go! Save Toadstool at all costs!" Mario commanded. He grabbed his running start, and flew into the skies. Bowser grabbed Toadstool, and jumped over to an emergency exit within easy reach. He jumped from the room, with Queen Toadstool unscathed.

"Bowser! You have to go back for Mario!" Queen Toadstool commanded. Bowser nodded; he wasn't going to do anything less. Bowser jumped into the castle, and a tower collapsed. Toadstool clasped her hands, and began furiously praying. Praying for Mario and Bowser to reappear safely.

* * *

Bowser returned once the castle had been reduced to rubble. He held something in his arms in such a way that its contents were hidden from view.

"Bowser! Is he safe? Where is he? Tell me!" Toadstool asked, her eyes stricken with tears. Bowser opened his arms, and revealed what he held. Toadstool clasped feebly at it.

It was a human skeleton. Parts of it had burned away, but there was only one person it could be. Toadstool sniffled, and grabbed Mario's skull.

"He can't be… he can't be…" Toadstool said tearfully.

"It was one lousy stone. They were falling from the ceiling rapidly. Mario was dodging them like a pro… but one got past him. He lost control of his cape, and collided face first with the lava beneath him. I was _this _close to catching him. As it was…" Bowser said, also holding up Mario's iconic cap. Toadstool took it from his hands, and sniffled. She hugged the hat to her chest, tear-stricken.

* * *

The next day, Queen Toadstool had organised a funeral for the red plumber. Shortly after the funeral, the Queen approached her sister, with a difficult decision resolved. She knew in her mind that she had made the wrong decision, but for the first time in her reign, she was siding with her heart.

"Peach, you have my blessings to marry Bowser," Toadstool said.

"WHAT?" Peach asked, horrified. "But Black-"

"Can die in a fire for all I care. I knew Mario was the one for me the instant I finally got to know him. I'm not going to turn my back on him just to satisfy one count. If it comes to war, I say let it happen!" Toadstool cried. Peach looked aghast at the suggestion, but she trusted her sister's judgement.

* * *

And so this concludes the first chapter of our story. We have become well acquainted with our heroines Peach and Toadstool, our heroes Bowser and Mario, a variety of supporting characters, and a conflict. If my memory serves me correctly, we will meet Lord Black next chapter, my children… but for now, I grow weary. I am sorry, but I must retire for the night.


	2. Star Children

Well, children… I suppose we'd best continue our story, hm? When we last left our heroes, Mario had been killed in a horrible accident, and Queen Toadstool had permitted Count Black to declare war. So, from there is where we should continue, shouldn't we?

* * *

It had been far too long in coming. Count Black floated his way into the massive entrance hall of Mushroom Castle. He appeared to be a floating, pitch black mannequin, with nary a feature on his shape. A couple of Toad retainers gasped: they had thought that Count 'Black' was a typo of Count Bleck, an entirely different Mushroom Kingdom resident. Or was Bleck one of Paper Mario's drawings? It was hard to remember.

"Hey, you! What are you doing here? I know what you're up to, so don't play dumb with me!" Paper Mario himself said. His threat was completely negated by the fact Count Black was very far away from any wall.

"Be quiet," Black said, pointing. Paper Mario was scattered into lines and squiggles, and began to move through the castle walls.

"Anyway, Toadstool. You have flown in the face of my request for a male monarch. Why?" Black asked. Peach and Bowser were suitably humbled by Black's destruction of Paper Mario. Toadstool had the opposite reaction.

"Why should your opinion matter to me? Why should I force myself into a loveless marriage just to satisfy one little doll? No. There is no male monarch coming your way, bastard," Toadstool said. All traces of the shy, lovable introvert had vanished, incinerated with Mario.

"Ah, is that to be the case? Then… if you will not satisfy my standards… I will satisfy myself!" Black said. He snapped his fingers. Mario's red cap, the memento of Mario Toadstool had taken to carrying, flew from her grasp, and landed in Black's palm. He put it on, and assumed the shape of Mario.

"Give me the castle, now!" Black roared. Bowser made a huge leap, and slammed the ground between Black and Toadstool.

"How dare you assume the shape of Mario? How dare you take the throne in his stead? How dare you steal Toadstool's prized possession? In fact, how dare you even call her Toadstool? You will address her as Queen. That is your place, doll," Bowser roared. He slugged a punch in Black's direction.

* * *

_COUNT BLACK_

Black laughed.

"That's your idea of an attack? This battle will be over in no time!" he taunted. He snapped his fingers, and a chunk of stone rained down upon Bowser. Bowser leaned down, and used his spiked shell to stop the debris. Bowser got up, and whistled. A giant Item Block dog appeared in front of him. Bowser whipped out a mop, and started to scrub down the pup. Once the dog was completely spotless, he slammed into Count Black, and knocked him to the ground. Several Item Block kittens jumped into Count Black, dealing a respectable amount of damage apiece.

"THAT is my idea of an attack!" Bowser said triumphantly. The Broggy Bonker was one of the moves he had used fighting one of his most serious battles. While he was at it, he summoned another of his minions. The Magikoopa Mob accepted Bowser's magical powers, and shot their magic straight at Black.

"You think that power is enough to defeat me?" Black asked. He snapped his fingers, and all the cuts and scrapes that had appeared on his body vanished.

"All right, you've forced my hand…" Bowser said. He held up the Star Rod, an object that could grant the wishes of the wielder. A blue flame appeared around Bowser, and he declared himself invincible. Black snapped his fingers. A black thunderbolt struck Bowser. He felt it.

"Oh, crud, that didn't work," Bowser said, before Black launched a larger thunderbolt. Bowser was sent flying from the castle.

* * *

Luigi and Daisy wandered through the lands in which Bowser had fallen. They were still in relative awe over what had happened to Mario. Daisy knew that a sport like Kidnap was bound to lead to this eventually, while Luigi was fondly remembering the days when it was a mere training exercise… ironically, for Mario himself. The drama and the awe that Kidnap had attracted in the years since its inception had worked against the sport.

"Oh my goddess! Is that Bowser?" Daisy asked, stopping the respective thoughts of the Sarasaland royalty.

"Yes, it is… probably unconscious. Whatever brought him here must have been a powerful foe…" Luigi said. He crept forward, and poked Bowser warily. Bowser shot into the air, and started to reflexively inhale like mad. Luigi and Daisy both gasped in complete surprise, before being sucked up inside Bowser.

* * *

_"__Oh my… not again…" Luigi murmured. He looked around, and spotted Daisy lying only a short distance away. Luigi wandered over to Daisy, to find her somewhat asleep. Her chest was heaving and falling. Luigi picked up Daisy, and lay her across his lap. He started to stroke her hair, wondering what they'd have to do about Bowser. He was curious what would occur._

Bowser got up, and started to scratch his head. He felt like something odd had happened while he was out, but he couldn't quite remember what. He felt an odd feeling inside his stomach.

"Not good…" he said aloud. If this stomach-ache was Black's doing, there would be a heap of trouble.

"Chippy? You in there?" he asked absently. His thoughts had been messed up along the line, and he was sent back to remembering the events of that one time he played the role of the hero. It was a favourite of his, and not just due to being the good guy: because the actual story was fascinating.

_"__Chippy? No… but there are people in here!" Luigi called up._

"Luigi? Oh no… how did you get in there?" Bowser asked, panicking. What else had he done? Did he destroy anything?

_"__We found you unconscious in Sarasaland. You went inhaling when he checked you, and you got both me and Daisy. As for anything else… no idea," Luigi shouted up to him._

"Well… I don't remember how you guys got out last time, in the story or in real life, so just be on standby, do the stuff you guys did last time, and we'll see if any of that was true," Bowser said. His mind was racing. "I'll go to the Mushroom Kingdom, and assess how the situation has changed since I left. You should probably check my body, and see what smashed. The Flame Pipe, the Memory Banks… whatever it is that might need fixing."

_"__But Bowser! We can't aid you in the fight against Black!" Luigi pointed out._

"…Toadstool spat in Black's face. I shall do the same," Bowser said. He began his long walk back to the Mushroom Kingdom.

* * *

Bowser walked up to his home castle. There didn't seem to be any lasting harm done at first glance, so he entered the castle. He trod the innately familiar path up to the throne room, and looked about. Both Peach and Toadstool were here, and the familiar form of Paper Mario jumped from the wall. Another drawing, that of Luigi, jumped beside him.

"Another one of you, huh?" Bowser asked.

"Yup. It's been part of the project I'm working on. I started working on Paper Luigi once I realised normal Luigi would be leaving the kingdom," Paper Mario explained.

"…Good work. Now, Peach, Toadstool, why aren't either of you kidnapped? What did I miss?" Bowser asked.

"He used up too much of his power existing here. As it turns out, the Dark Land adds to his strength, and he can't exist long outside of it. Now that we know, he'd be unwise for him to attack again… but that also means our final stand needs to be in Dark Land," Peach said.

"Interesting strategy… but effective. We're going to need to plan if we intend to stop him!" Bowser said.

"Bah! Plan, plan, plan. We have to avenge Mario and get back his hat! We cannot waste time on plans!" Toadstool said. Bowser jumped back in shock.

"That is the exact opposite of what you'd normally say, Toadstool…" Bowser said. Peach guided Toadstool to the nearest wall, and Paper Mario began to comfort her.

"We will get his hat back… but we are not going to die trying. That is why we are planning," Peach said. Toadstool nodded, and stood tall.

"Very well… we will first go to Donkey Kong and Yoshi. And, if he hasn't already been bought out, Wario," Toadstool said. "Peach, get me the Vibe Sceptre. I'm coming with you two!"

"Um, are we sure the Vibe Sceptre works?" Peach asked. The Vibe Sceptre was a powerful weapon that wreaked havoc in the time Princess Peach herself played the hero. It was said to have the power to manipulate emotion: joy, despair, anger and serenity. But that was in the game: there were several objects used in the sport that might not actually function. The Dream Stone, for instance, was just a brightly painted rock.

"It'll work if I say it works, sister! Just grab your parasol, or whatever it is you use as a weapon!" Toadstool said. "If it doesn't, I'll whack 'em over the head with it: should be as dangerous!"

Peach jumped at the ferocity Toadstool was speaking with. Even considering the loss of Mario, this seemed a bit uncalled for. Peach hurriedly ran to collect whatever tools actually worked. Bowser checked his equipment. He seemed good to go, especially considering he had people working on the inside to boost his power in opportune moments.

_"__Bowser? You have no damage in here. We did have to fix Memory P, though. It was simple, and probably unrelated to the fall," Luigi said._

"Good work. Be on call in case I need you," Bowser said. "Though Toadstool did bring up a good point: are we sure that's how my body works?"

_"__Nothing looks dramatically different. Don't intentionally put yourself in a situation where you need to use those powers, though, if there is such a question," Luigi said._

_"__You can do it, big guy! We're here cheering for you either way!" Daisy said._

"Who are you talking to?" Toadstool asked.

"…Chippy," Bowser said. Toadstool absently nodded, and Peach returned at that exact moment. Toadstool took the Vibe Sceptre, and activated the Rage vibe. Setting herself alight, Toadstool proved it worked.

* * *

Count Black returned to his castle, and formed a small mannequin for Mario's cap to rest upon. Don't ask how Bowser and the princesses know this, for they do not. I… actually don't know how this information was written into the story, but let's read on anyway.

Anyway, Count Black needed to form a plan to take on our heroes. He had learned that his power could only perform correctly in the Dark Land. The power granted to him here was great, but if Bowser was to plan an attack, he had all the time in the world to form his armies and fight Black.

"I summon… Dimentio!" Black said, making a conclusion at last. The shape of Dimentio, one of the villains of Paper Mario's yarns, formed in front of him.

"And so, I appear like a magician appears on stage. Ah, Black, you desire the complete destruction of the world, I presume? I can arrange that, but I may need to conduct a complex plan to summon-" Dimentio said.

"That's not why I called you, you fool! I want to seize the throne, and expand my providence!" Count Black exclaimed.

"Ah, a desire for world domination, I see! But why, do tell, do you desire this world? We could make a shiny new one…" Dimentio said.

"That's the coward's way out, fool! Just get in Bowser's way already!" Count Black roared.

"That, I can do. For I am no fool, just simply the image of one. Bowser, your journey ends here, with magic!" Dimentio said.

* * *

Bowser led the two princesses to the domain of Donkey Kong, DK Island. The great monkey leader Donkey Kong jumped up front and centre to greet his new guests.

"Greetings and salutations, noble sir and dear ladies. What brings such noble royalty to the deepest regions of our humble jungle?" Donkey Kong asked, sinking into a low bow.

"We have come for your aid, Donkey Kong. We need your help to defeat Count Black," Peach said.

"Fighting, you say? How horribly uncouth. I don't suppose you've tried a gentle tea party? Much cleaner, much less costly, and there's so much less chance of someone getting all bruised and whatnot!" Donkey Kong said.

"You know, I still wonder how you got stuck with the jungle, DK," Peach said.

"I am a monkey. Even with my degree in the great University, I am still kept in the jungle due to my hairy visage. And my subtle, yet pungent odour," Donkey Kong said. A square appeared in the air, and the figure of a joker appeared with a large ripple.

_"__Dimentio! I remember you!" Luigi said. Luckily, no one heard him._

"Ah, if it isn't the serene princesses and the great arm flailer. How lovely to see you again… but, you see, I cannot allow you to live, oh no," Dimentio said.

"Eh? Listen here, clownface! Around here, the name of the game is: Mario wins, then Luigi, then Yoshi, then Donkey Kong, then me, then the princesses, then my Koopa Troop, then whoever else volunteers to play villain, then my leavings, and then you!" Bowser said.

"Might I ask you to repeat that, good sir? I lost track after my name…" Donkey Kong said.

"No… I don't think I can," Bowser said.

"Whatever. Your proud knowledge of the fictitious hierarchy has fallen onto my ears like water falls into a sieve. Ciao!" Dimentio said, summoning a giant orb in the sky, and dropping it on Bowser.

_"__Arm Centre! NOW!" Luigi cried out. He and Daisy went to Bowser's arm, and Luigi pulled out two hammers. They felt the ball fall on top of Bowser, and he started to hold it up. A cannon ignited, and started firing green and orange balls of stimulation at Bowser's muscle in rhythm. The balls bounced directly off of the muscle, prompting Luigi and Daisy to fling them back into the arm, sending the stimulation directly into Bowser's muscle._

Bowser felt a massive strength in his muscles, and pushed. The giant orb flew in Dimentio's direction. Dimentio lightly dodged it, leaving Bowser to wonder where it went.

"Ah, that is all you can give? This should be over in no time… but I have learned something very valuable. Count Black would very much like to hear this…" Dimentio said.

"Don't you even think about telling him anything, you clown!" Toadstool said. She jumped up at him, and activated her Rage vibe. The blast of angry energy knocked him to the ground, and Bowser walked up to him. He jumped, and squished Dimentio under his massive girth.

"It seems… the magician… was not enough…" Dimentio said, before exploding in a puff of star-patterned orbs. Bowser absorbed them into his body, grinning broadly.

"What-ho! Good show, Bowser! Well, if fighting these guys is going to be that simplistic… then I will be glad to offer my services!" Donkey Kong said.

"So what was it that we were keeping from him?" Toadstool asked.

"…Chippy," Bowser said. He wasn't sure whether he could, or even should, tell Toadstool he had the Sarasaland nobles trapped in his body.

* * *

Our heroes next ventured to a different island. Yoshi's Island was home to the Yoshi tribes, valiant mounts for Mario, and the closest thing many in the party had to parents. When they arrived on the island, they felt their many years wither away, until they were little more than toddlers. Don't worry, for this magic is limited to the island, and much like Count Black's powers, goes away after departure.

"Welcome, Toadstool. What brings you to our island again?" a green Yoshi said. Green was a rare colour on Yoshi, and this one, the star child Yoshi, was the only one currently in existence.

"Black dolly want pretty castle. We go stop him!" Baby Toadstool said.

"Oh dear…" Yoshi said. "So why are you here, where you're at your weakest?" Yoshi asked.

"We want green donkey! We want green donkey!" Baby Bowser demanded. Yoshi nodded, conceding Bowser's point. Luckily, being a Baby on Yoshi's Island did not remove memories and such. Kamek flew up to Yoshi, and looked at the Babies.

"Oh dear… we're needed, aren't we?" Kamek asked. Yoshi nodded.

"Well scoop them up and get them off the island…" Kamek started, before giving pause. He felt an odd feeling in the general vicinity of his head. He checked his head, and felt the presence of a small sprout.

"This is not good…" Kamek said, as his glasses began to fog up. The Floro Sprout was taking effect.

"Did scary clown do bad things again?" Baby Peach asked.

"No! Dimentio fallen like bad beans. The sprout-grower here is none other than Fawful, the dangerous, yet delicious, Beanish boggis and bunce!" a voice said. The Bean in question, Fawful, descended slowly upon the scene.

_"__Bad green! Bad green!" Baby Luigi said._

"Yeah! Bad green!" Baby Bowser concurred, to let Fawful here.

"Now now, Babies. If eat greens you refuse, you won't be big and strong like Midbus! Since Fawful taste bad, you never grow big!" Fawful said. He flew back, and summoned a large, purple beast with armadillo plating and a pig's snout. Midbus.

"Now for magic! Kamek works for Fawful now, so Kamek use the spell of circles, triangles and squares to help Midbus squish Babies into delicious pancakes! And then we have syrup! Syrup for all!" Fawful commanded. Kamek wordlessly complied, using a magical spell to embiggen Midbus to gigantic proportions.

"Scary pig! Scary pig!" Baby Peach said. Baby Donkey Kong picked up the sisters, and jumped away. Midbus leaned down, picked up Dimentio's massive iron ball from earlier, and slammed it onto Baby Bowser.

_"__Squishy! Squishy!" Baby Daisy said, beginning to cry. Baby Luigi grabbed Baby Daisy's hand, and led her through Baby Bowser's body to the Rump Command. The two Evoglobin stationed there assumed their ethereal form, and bowed to Baby Luigi._

_"__The young master's body is in grievous peril. You know what to do," the evoglobin said. Baby Luigi guided Baby Daisy into one of the twin boats, and sat in the other. The two zoomed up Baby Bowser's system, firing adrenaline into his system._

_"__Bowser spark!" Baby Luigi said, grabbing Baby Daisy's hand. The two fired in synch, and charged a lot of energy at once._

_"__Bowser spike! Bowser move!" Baby Luigi said, beginning to cheer._

Midbus beat his chest, gloating of his victory. The iron ball Baby Bowser was trapped under began to shake, and slowly began floating in the air. Baby Bowser appeared underneath it, holding it up. It was about his size, and it continued to seemingly shrink. However, an astute observer would note the opposite was true: Baby Bowser was growing larger! Baby Bowser turned around, and made sure to throw the iron ball in the direction of Dark Land. Expecting to see it later, he turned back to Midbus.

"ME BIG NOW! MIDBUS SCARED?" Baby Bowser asked, roaring.

"YOU MAY BE BIG, BUT YOU'RE STILL INFANTILE. THIS WILL BE A PIECE OF CAKE!" Midbus responded.

"Cake? No one said there is cake! Cake is lie! Ignore the cake!" Fawful said. Baby Bowser threw one of the trees of Yoshi's Island in his direction, and roared again.

* * *

GIANT MIDBUS

"YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN, PIPSQUEAK? THINK AGAIN!" Midbus bellowed.

"YOU DON'T SCARY ME! RAWR!" Baby Bowser shouted back. He stepped forth, and slugged a massive punch at Midbus. Midbus, not realising how powerful Baby Bowser might be, neglected to counter, and thus suffered quite a bit of pain. Baby Bowser giggled, snorting back a snot bubble.

"YOU PAY FOR THAT, BABY!" Midbus bellowed, using a punch of his own. Baby Bowser countered with his own punch, being overpowered by Midbus' power.

"Yes, that's correct! Defeat giant baby!" Fawful commanded. Baby Bowser roared, and spat out a stream of fireballs, each of which blasted Midbus. Midbus felt himself on the brink of defeat.

"SPINACH!" Kamek roared, using his magic. Midbus was revitalised. Baby Bowser squealed.

"NO FAIR, MEANIE!" Baby Bowser stated, and began to inhale. The giant gust of wind even shifted Midbus, but Fawful and Kamek held firm. The Floro Sprout on Kamek's head was not so lucky.

_The mobile sprout landed inside Bowser's belly, and jumped up. It immediately rooted itself into Bowser's systems, and a green substance began pumping through Bowser's system._

_"__Bad plant! Bad plant!" Baby Luigi said. He reached into his pockets, and pulled out a special attack. He threw it into the air, and ran to the sprout's other side. A pile of stars appeared beside both him and Baby Daisy. The two tossed the stars at the large one in the air, before it fell on the sprout. The sprout roared, and summoned two Goombules from Bowser's bloodstream. These were coloured greenish._

_"__More! More! More!" Baby Daisy said, blushing in admiration. Baby Luigi pulled out a window, and pulled Daisy inside. The window vanished, and reappeared beside the sprout. Luigi jumped out, and jumped on the sprout. Baby Daisy jumped from another window, and the two jumped out of a third together. Jumping from window to window, at least two of both Baby Luigi and Baby Daisy succeeded in denting the sprout, and destroying the Goombules. The sprout got even angrier._

_"__Faster!" Baby Daisy begged. Baby Luigi whipped out a beautiful flower, and the pair nibbled a petal each. A cloud burst over them, and Baby Luigis and Baby Daisies jumped from the cloud at will, each clone dealing a respectable piece of damage each. The sprout withered._

"THAT TASTED GOOD!" Baby Bowser roared. He punched Midbus again, and followed up with more fireballs. Midbus roared in pain, and tried something. He clasped his fists together, and unleashed his alternate form. He turned a light shade of fur, and grew a furry back in the stead of his shell. Blizzard Midbus growled, and started to build a snowball. Baby Bowser breathed some more fireballs, melting the snow, and finishing off Blizzard Midbus: as it turns out, being an ice monster is a bad idea if your opponent is a master of fire. Blizzard Midbus exploded, and Baby Bowser cheered. Three flagpoles raised, one bearing Bowser's crest, one bearing Luigi's, and one bearing Daisy's.

* * *

With Midbus destroyed, Giant Baby Bowser turned to Fawful. Fawful had time only to recite a grammatically incorrect expression of terror, before the fireball blasted him off. Baby Bowser shrunk with this, and reappeared on the ground Kamek swooped down to see him.

"Young master Bowser, I am most displeased with my actions regarding the two invaders," Kamek said. Baby Bowser looked up at him.

"Not wizard fault. Flower fault. But I make flower go bye-bye!" Baby Bowser said.

"…They really need to get off the island, Yoshi. If you'll excuse me, I need to atone for my misdeed," Kamek said, flying off. Yoshi scooped up Baby Bowser, and walked back to the boat the group had arrived on. Baby Donkey Kong had already brought the two girls here, and they were cheering wildly. As soon as Yoshi put Baby Bowser in the boat, Baby Peach started hugging him. Baby Toadstool looked down, and started crying. Baby Donkey Kong edged closer to her, but Toadstool cried even louder. Yoshi rolled his eyes, and drove the boat back away from the island.

* * *

And that concludes the second chapter of this story. The sisters and Bowser have recruited Donkey Kong, Yoshi, and, although accidentally, Luigi and Daisy are aiding the cause from the inside. In the next chapter, we will probably see the confrontation with Lord Black… but for now, I grow weary. I am sorry, my children, but this is where I retire for the night.


	3. The Price Of Peace

Children, it is time for our last night of this tale. When we last left our heroes, they had recruited Donkey Kong and Yoshi, and were poised to storm Count Black's castle. Let's return to our heroes now.

* * *

Count Black's castle loomed ahead like the ominous shape it was. The group, who were all adults again, shared a few nervous looks. However, no one, not even Donkey Kong, was going to back down now. They had come too far for that. They instead pressed forward, and crossing the boundary into Dark Land was met with an instead feeling of dread and despair. Count Black had prepared for their arrival.

"'Ey! Quit movin' righ' there, ya hear me?" a gravelly voice bellowed from the darkness. Bowser groaned, as he turned to face Wario. He had suspected it, but he had hoped that Wario would have turned down anything Count Black offered. Apparently not.

"Wario, Count Black needs to go down! We don't have time for you," Bowser said.

"Wassat ya say 'bout Black? Who's gun and said dat I'm on Black's side?" Wario asked. "I'd never side wid that wretch! Not fer all the Coins in the world!"

"Oh…" Peach said, realising her mistake. They had never even tried to see which side Wario stood on.

"Well, would you side with us to take him down?" Toadstool asked, holding out a large sack of money.

"I'd join ya guys for free! But 'gainst someone dat powerful, I'd need all the dough I can get," Wario said. He grabbed the sack of money, and pulled out two or three Coins. He put them all into his mouth, and chewed on them thoughtfully.

"These good Coins, missy," Wario said.

"Now that that's settled… let's dance," Toadstool said.

* * *

"Welcome, my dears, to Castle Black!" Count Black said, as the Star Children entered the room ponderously. They had encountered no resistance on the path, which set their teeth on edge. Surely Black would have had some defence against this?

"All right now, Black. You call off this attack, and give back Mario's hat!" Toadstool cried out, the power of her anger being amplified by the Vibe Sceptre.

"I will be doing no such thing. You see, there's a reason I killed Mario," Count Black said.

"You're the one who killed him?" Yoshi asked, shocked.

"…Say your prayers, you heathen baboon!" Donkey Kong added. Queen Toadstool, the paragon of serenity, was furious. The power of the Vibe Sceptre shone on and on, and she levelled it at Count Black.

"A great man has died at your hand, Black. I feel no guilt whatsoever in returning the favour!" Toadstool said. She jumped at Black, activating her Rage vibe. Count Black formed a shield, and bounced Toadstool back. Donkey Kong caught her, and formed a tight grip.

"That was your idea of an attack?" Count Black asked. "Didn't even need to lift a finger. And I'm about to get a lot more fearful…" Count Black turned around, and grabbed Mario's cap.

"Um… what's the purpose of that thing, anyway?" Bowser asked.

"You said it yourself: the food chain of victories starts with Mario. Mario always wins, defeats the foul Bowser and saves the princess. I've been powering up Mario's cap… and now…" Count Black said. He donned the hat, and turned into Mario.

"Now, I have the strength of Mario! Not even Luigi can defeat this foe!" Count Black said. "Speaking of which…" Count Black snapped his fingers, and zapped Bowser in the stomach. Bowser's stomach growled, and Bowser spat up one of his most recent meals: Luigi and Daisy.

"How long were you two in there?" Peach asked.

"We found him unconscious in the woods, and he swallowed us whole then and there," Luigi responded.

"Princess Daisy of Sarasaland… your interference in this war would have been highly intolerable had I given a damn. But I guess there's no real harm in it… more people to witness my ultimate power, and no one is exactly going to be leaving this tower anyway!" Count Black said. He held his hands high, and a dark vortex began swirl. Bowser, Peach, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Yoshi and Wario felt their insides whirl about in a flurry, before six twinkling stars appeared above their heads. The vortex widened, and the six stars appeared inside, joining a seventh. If there was any doubt as to Count Black's deed, it was quickly dispelled.

"You might be the Star Children… but I'm the Super Star!" Count Black said. "The world is my oyster!"

"Not yet, it ain't!" Wario said. "Having lotsa power ain't no good at tall against da power of teamwork! Fellow Star Kids! Flee, and return wid an army each!" Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Not a bad idea, Wario…" Bowser said.

"It's an unfair advantage. Just die here now…" Count Black said, summoning some more power.

"Run! I'll save y'all!" Wario said. He pulled out the sack of Coins, and swallowed them whole. He flexed his muscles, which promptly bulged. Crippling obesity turned to overwhelming muscle.

"…You're getting a massive pay rise, Wario," Toadstool said. Donkey Kong scooped both women up, and bolted down the stairs. Luigi and Daisy hopped on Yoshi's back, and he bolted. Bowser sighed, as he realised he'd be descending the stairs alone. Wario stood his ground, and gave Count Black a massive sock to the gut.

* * *

The group ran from the castle, and quickly exited the border of Dark Land. Fear had not alleviated their systems: they turned back, and watched booms and bangs sound from the castle. A bright light shone, and the fight ceased. The heroes looked down in sadness.

"Well… let's do what Wario wanted us to do…" Bowser said. Donkey Kong and Yoshi put down their burdens, and everyone nodded. Spreading out in many different directions, they went to go recruit their armies.

* * *

The various armies that the Star Children had amassed gathered in front of the Kingdom Castle. From the Koopa Troop, to Sarasaland's citizens, to the Yoshi tribe, to the Kong family, to an assortment of villains from assorted homes, and even a few neighbouring kingdom's forces. There were a large number of faces, all turned to the Kingdom Castle. Toadstool took a deep breath, and stepped to the podium to address those in attendance.

"Peoples of the Mushroom Kingdom, Sarasaland, and wherever else you hail from… never before has our land been in need of your might. Count Black, ruler of Dark Land, has set his feet in domination. He was the one responsible for slaughtering Mario. We may come from factions aplenty… but never before has our need for unity been larger! Now, we all know I'm a terrible public speaker, so let's end the speech there. We charge… now, I suppose," Toadstool said. Each of them cheered.

_My my, aren't we getting a little confident, cowards, _the voice of Count Black said. The group looked up, as the shape of Mario appeared in front of Toadstool.

"It's OK, girl. I got this," another voice said behind her. Luigi ran over to a nearby wall, and pulled Paper Mario from it. He assumed shape in the three-dimensional world, and more than a few Paper Mario copies followed suit.

"It's time for a paper jam!" Paper Mario said.

_BLACK MARIO_

Mario readied himself against Paper Mario.

_I'm going to be fighting a piece of paper? This will be over soon! _Mario said. He jumped, and Paper Mario turned to his side. Mario completely missed the two-dimensional Paper Mario.

"Like that, buddy? Skolar, Star Storm!" Paper Mario said. He held his hands to the sky, and summoned Skolar the Star Spirit. Skolar summoned chunks of star to fly at Mario's face.

_Curse you, paper scum! _Mario said. He shot a bolt of lightning at Paper Mario, which he crouched to take minimal pain.

"Let's go Supernova!" Paper Mario said. He summoned the Crystal Star, and created a massive burst of energy to bring Mario to suffer.

_All right, let's get serious! _Mario said. He ran forward, and created fire in the palm of his hand. Paper Mario made a terrified face, and hurriedly leaped over Mario's Firebrand.

"Whoa, that was close…" Paper Mario said. He surrounded Mario with four Paper Mario copies, and all four used their hammer at once.

_I will defeat you- _Mario started, before dramatically wheezing.

_In Dark Land! _Mario said, before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"We have to go defeat him! Now!" Toadstool said.

"Toadstool, slow down. Maybe we can not attack him? It seems like the safer option," Peach said.

"No! I want Mario's hat back!" Toadstool said. Luigi thought it over carefully.

"We'll have a look at what Count Black is doing. And then we'll judge whether or not to attack," he said.

* * *

The Star Children and Co assembled at the cusp of Dark Land, their armies a short distance behind. Ahead, they could see the gathering of energy that was Count Black. Dark energy was coursing throughout the land, at a variety of spots.

"OK… here's the plan," Luigi said, before Dark Land's border extended by about ten metres.

"Everyone, find and destroy the sources of Count Black's power. We will take down the real deal!" Daisy said.

"I've got just the thing for you guys," Paper Mario said. The crowd parted, to reveal a large object being wheeled in to the field. It was huge. It was massive. It was Papercraft Mario!

"Like it, Toadstool?" Paper Mario asked from atop the creation.

"Love it!" Toadstool said.

"Then hop on!" Paper Mario called. Peach, Toadstool, Bowser, Luigi, Daisy, Donkey Kong and Yoshi all boarded Papercraft Mario, and Paper Mario flipped, to attach himself to the papercraft.

"Let's charge!" he said. Papercraft Mario began moving. A few obstacles reared their heads, but they were shot down by Bowser's airship fleet. Bowser Jr jumped to the crow's nest of the first ship, and called down to his father.

"Sorry we're late!" he called down.

"Well done, son!" Bowser called back up. The motion caused Papercraft Mario to heave to and fro.

"Sorry, guys… we might need to lighten the load. I'm only made of paper!" Paper Mario said. Bowser, Donkey Kong and Yoshi hopped off board. Papercraft Mario resumed the act of being wheeled through Dark Land.

* * *

Papercraft Mario entered the foyer of Count Bleck's castle, to be immediately struck by Count Black's dark lightning. Everyone jumped from the Papercraft, leaving only Paper Mario, who was stuck to it.

"I'll be fine! You go stop Count Black!" Paper Mario said. Everyone turned, and spotted Count Black lazily floating in the sky, juggling Mario's hat in a rhythmic beat.

"You have one last chance, Black! Return Mario's hat!" Toadstool said.

_You know what? I will,_ Black said. He threw his hand forward, and shot a burst of dark mist. Everyone stepped back cautiously, as Queen Toadstool slowly began breathing it in. She began to convulse, and as she did so, Black threw Mario's cap in her direction. She caught it, and donned it. With another few shakes, she turned around, a female version of Mario.

"Toadstool?" Daisy asked cautiously. Toadstool's response was to perform Mario's jumping move on Daisy, missing thanks to Daisy's quick feet.

"Sister! This isn't you!" Peach said. Toadstool turned on her heel, and faced Peach, a malicious grin on her face.

"…If that's what it takes… I will defeat my own sister! I will make you see the light any way I know how!" Peach cried out.

* * *

_MARIA_

Toadstool faced Peach, panting heavily. Peach moved first, blowing a kiss in Toadstool's direction. The heart projectile that followed sent Toadstool keeling. Toadstool focused her energy, and summoned another bolt of dark lightning, striking Peach's crown. Peach took the crown, and threw it like a boomerang at Toadstool. It tipped Mario's hat, flickering Toadstool's forms, but didn't knock it off.

"Of course! The hat!" Peach said. Toadstool growled softly, and spun dark purple ribbons around herself. Peach spun on the spot, and launched herself at Toadstool. Her hips struck the ribbons, bouncing clean off them. Toadstool grinned. She snapped her fingers, and summoned a ring of hearts.

"Oh no you don't!" Peach called out. She performed a huge jump, and landed directly inside the ribbon circle. She landed on Toadstool's head, and nicked the healing hearts Toadstool had. While she was at it, she took Mario's hat for herself.

"After what Count Black did, I think this is going to need a thorough disinfecting," Peach said.

_No… why? How could that plan fail? _Count Black bemoaned. He touched the palms of his hands to the ground, and withdrew from it great amounts of dark energy.

_Well, there's always Plan B… _Black said. The shape began to contort and expand in a manner that looked painful, but everyone was sure it was going to help Black's cause.

And then it did.

Count Black began to grow.

* * *

Black's massive gain in size occurred slowly, and then ended with undue haste. His castle was shattered, and Peach, Toadstool, Luigi, Daisy and the remnants of the Papercraft were shot to a safe distance. Count Black assumed a form resembling Mario, but only from a cursory point of view.

"We've got to do something!" Peach cried out, as one of Black's arms carelessly swatted away one of Bowser's airships.

"But what? Only Bowser could turn giant!" Luigi stated.

"No, not just him," Daisy said. She ran towards the Papercraft remnants, and tossed Paper Mario out of it. In a deft display of movements, Daisy refashioned the Papercraft into a makeshift pillow. She turned around, and took a nap.

"How could you sleep at a time like this?" Peach asked. A swirl of light appeared above Daisy's head, and a dashing shape appeared from its bounds. A green cap, blue overalls, and a well-trimmed moustache? This was Luigi, a bit taller, and a tad more handsome. Another Dreamy Luigi burst from the swirl of light, and another, and another. Each Dreamy Luigi burst from the portal, and jumped into Luigi. Luigi felt himself grow to massive heights through the aid of the Dreamy Luigis.

"Oh yeah… let's-a-go!" Luigi said.

_Okey-dokey! _Black said right back.

_GIANT BLACK_

Black took some ponderous steps forward, and held out his hand. Fire grew in its palm, and Luigi used his hammer to slam it into the ground. Black shook the stump of his arm, and regrew his hand. He convulsed slightly, before that hand shrunk back into the stump. Black looked around in confusion.

"Banana… Slammer! The original of Count Black's energy anchors has been made to lose its power in a manner that is quite efficacious!" Donkey Kong called out.

_Impossible! _Black called out. He turned on the spot to go after Donkey Kong, before he felt something hit him in the chest.

"Whee!" Dixie Kong said, flying back to Diddy Kong's shoulders. The act of knocking him in the chest was the perfect opening for Luigi to perform a jump attack.

"Luigi!" a voice called out. Luigi looked around, to see Queen Toadstool waving from besides Daisy's body.

"What?" Luigi asked.

"I'm coming with you. Both Mario and Daisy are out of play, and I'm making sure I'm on your side!" Toadstool said.

"…OK, fine," Luigi said. He held down his hand, and Toadstool hurriedly jumped atop his cap.

_Now you have a little chick on your cap. Big whoop, _Count Black said. He suddenly felt another burst in his hand, causing the other one to fall off.

"We got the second power source!" Yoshi cried out.

"Yoshi, Yoshi!" his clan added. Count Black turned to face them, only for a stampede of Yoshi to come to his feet. He was knocked over by the horde.

"Now's our chance!" Luigi said. He jumped high into the air, and began spinning. Toadstool followed suit, stomping Luigi into Count Black. Both went back into the air, and came back down in another Drill Stomp.

_No… Why… How… _Black said slowly. He felt his right leg collapse under his own weight, as Bowser had destroyed the third power supply.

_But I guess… if there's any consolation… no one will reach my fourth power core before I… _Count Black said.

* * *

He shuddered for a few moments, before collapsing under his own weight. The shape of Count Black completely disappeared. And Dark Land's evil power vanished, leaving behind the attractively dark place it once was. Luigi reassumed his normal size, as all the Dreamy Luigis returned from whence they came. Daisy woke up, and jumped into Luigi's arms. Together, they, Peach, Toadstool and Bowser entered the Dark Land castle, to see what had happened.

"Well done, good sirs and ladies! What a thrilling show!" a ghost stated. His round shape and familiar adornments instantly identified him to Luigi.

"King Boo?" Luigi asked.

"The one and the same! I congratulate you for defeating the Count Black puppet. My, that game will go down in history as one of the greatest-" King Boo started.

"A game? A GAME? You mean to say this whole thing was a game of Kidnap… without MY approval? May I remind you that two people are dead? May I remind you that you were the only one to have any clue that this was all a game?" Toadstool let out.

"Please, please, calm yourself. It was all staged! Look, Mario and Wario are right here!" King Boo said, floating to one side. Mario and Wario appeared behind him, only for Mario to have all of the oxygen and balance knocked from him by the gentle Queen Toadstool's massive hug.

"Yes… I suppose it was a good game…" Peach remarked.

"I'll say. No wonder our fictional powers worked so well…" Bowser added.

"Nuts to the lot of you, I'll say. I'm going home," Daisy said. Luigi nodded, and the pair left the castle.

"Idiots. Can't see a really good game for what it was," Bowser said. "So, Toadstool… when's the wedding?"

"I'll make the cake!" Peach added.

* * *

"And that, my children, is the story of Count Black. Yes, quite the tale, wasn't it?" I asked my children, grateful I had finished the story at last. All of my lovely Lumas jumped and smiled happily.

"Well, my dearies… I have to go to bed once more. Good night," I said, leaving the room. All but one of the Luma followed me. The silver Luma who I had used to give Mario a spin attack once or twice floated to the book, and opened it to the final pages.

* * *

"Now's our chance!" Luigi said. He jumped high into the air, and began spinning. Toadstool followed suit, stomping Luigi into Count Black. Both went back into the air, and came back down in another Drill Stomp.

_No… Why… How… _Black said slowly. He felt his right leg collapse under his own weight, as Bowser had destroyed the third power supply.

_But I guess… if there's any consolation… no one will reach my fourth power core before I… _Count Black said. He opened his mouth wide, and let out a large burst of energy. Luigi was knocked backwards a tad, and Toadstool was sent flying even further, causing Peach to start following her. The Dream Portal closed, as Daisy woke up to come to Luigi's aid. Count Black shattered once more, as the final of Count Black's power sources was depleted.

_Who? _Black asked, looking around nervously.

"Dat wud be me, Vario!" Wario called out.

"Don't forget the greatest thing since the Bob-Omb! Waluigi!" Waluigi added.

"Just remember this when you see us on the street… I'm the cruellest girl you'll ever meet," Ashley finished. She raced to the fight on her broomstick, and pulled out her wand. She waved it, spreading a fine purple powder over Count Black.

"The enemy is weak and ripe for defeat. Green 'Stache. Use your most finishing move now, before I bore of holding him in place," Ashley said. Luigi nodded, and jumped high, high into the sky, reaching the lower levels of space. He plucked a star from the cosmos, and Daisy boarded it. Spinning like a top, Luigi let go of the Super Star, and Daisy guided it down. Down, down, and down some more. Daisy shot the Super Star into Count Black, piercing his form once and for all. Luigi landed, and felt all of the Dreamy Luigis dissolving.

"It's over… it's over…" he said.

"Is all danks do us," Wario said proudly.

"How did you even get here, Wario?" Luigi asked.

"Gid me som credet. I ded eet 'bout one hundred coins in dere somwhare," Wario said. Luigi smiled slightly, and turned to see Daisy.

Except what he saw wasn't Daisy.

* * *

"Wat, moar?" Wario asked.

"Doesn't this uncouth individual by the name of the absence of hue ever cease to make attempts to satisfy the achievement which his direction is aimed?" Donkey Kong asked.

"What's next, Kamek's going to sprinkle his little circles, squares and triangles?" Yoshi asked.

_Fools… I may have been vanquished today, Luigi, but I am going to make sure as many of you and your ilk follow me to my untimely demise! _the remnants of Count Black roared. Those remnants took the form of a large cloud with an angry face on it. Call him unattractive and bland if you want, but you cannot deny his persistence.

"I'm not pinning this guy down for you. Tell me when you've died," Ashley said, turning around and zooming off.

"Oi! Git bak here or I dok yer pay!" Wario cried out.

"Don't bother, Wario…" Bowser said, slowly ambling up. "I will defeat this foe!" As if in response to Bowser's claim, Black summoned a few targets for Bowser to fight.

_BLACK SOUL_

The twin spirits in front of Bowser loomed out from Black's form, leering forward angrily. Mario touched his feet knowledgeably. Toadstool took off her crown, and tossed it into the air, catching it with ease. Bowser's eyebrows pressed together, as he stood facing these familiar foes.

"Bowser!" Luigi cried out. He jumped forward, and shot daggers into Black's final use of Mario's image. Mario shot the same glare, and the swing of their hammer occurred simultaneously. Luigi slowly edged around Mario, only for Mario to do the same. Luigi extended his Thunderhand, only for Mario to use the Firebrand.

"Luigi! You know what you do best!" Bowser added. Toadstool threw her crown at him, for Bowser to punch it away. Luigi nodded, and jumped. Mario did likewise, but Mario's inferior jump was no match for Luigi's skills. Mario's shape sputtered and fizzled away.

"Now it's your turn!" Luigi said. Bowser nodded, and used a sliding punch attack on Toadstool. Toadstool puffed into dust, and reformed. Toadstool swung the Vibe Sceptre, and made Bowser furious. Bowser's next punch came even faster than the first, and Toadstool was not nearly as lucky.

_Defiant to the end, I see… No matter. You are foolish to think that you will emerge from this fight without casualty, _Black Soul said. He leaned forward, and grinned. Bowser gave him a meaty punch right in his smug little mug, and sent him skyward. Luigi used his Super Jump attack, and landed right on top of Black Soul. Black Soul roared, only to hear an agonising sound. Diddy's Guitar Gazump came to an end, and Donkey Kong shot a coconut at Black Soul. It was followed by several blasts from the Koopaling's Airships, as well as a few dozen eggs of the Yoshi Tribe. Black Soul was well and truly reeling. Bowser stepped forth, and the power of the stars came to his fist. He shot forth, slicing right through Black Soul like a hot beast through an ethereal mist. Count Black dissipated at last. Now, it was all over.

* * *

"Daisy?" Luigi asked, looking about what was left of Black's giant and soul forms.

"Here," Daisy said, nudging aside a few pieces of wood, and running up to Luigi. Her dress was in tatters and she had a black eye, but she appeared unharmed at first glance. However, on closer inspection, Daisy's left arm appeared to be attached to her body through one of the strips of dress she had left. As Luigi stared nervously at it, it fell limp, and detached.

"Daisy… was that my doing?" Luigi asked, thinking back to the Finishing Bros.

"Let's not play the blame game… it was Black, all right. That's all I care about. Now please… Sarasa…" Daisy started, before fainting in Luigi's arms. Luigi hurriedly wrapped a few more strips of dress around Daisy's remaining stump of an arm, before playing doctor, knowing he had a higher degree than Mario, knowing he could at least bring Daisy to move under her own power with what he had.

"Bowser!" Peach cried out. Her forehead was dripping with sweat, and her eyes tears. She carried in her arms the limp form of Queen Toadstool.

"She's unconscious! Is there a doctor in the house?" Bowser asked the crowd at large. A Toad, clad in purple, approached, and Peach knelt down so that the Toad could see the Queen.

"Is she OK? Please say yes!" Peach said.

"I'm sorry… but is the answer yes? I'm afraid it isn't," Dr Toadley, one of the foremost doctors in the kingdom, identified.

"How can you be so sure?" Bowser asked.

"Does her heart pump blood still? No it doesn't. Does her breast heave with the air of life? No it doesn't. Did her spirit appear alongside Mario's in Black's final attack? Yes it did," Dr Toadley stated.

"So… my sister is gone…" Peach said. "I'm… I'm Queen now."

"Do I suggest an election for a queen who knows how to rule? Yes I do," Dr Toadley said.

"Now is not the time!" Peach cried out. Dr Toadley respectfully stepped back, as Bowser nervously walked forward, and put an arm around the woman he cared for.

* * *

Luma reached the ending of the page, a few tears in his eye.

"Mama's ending was better…" he said, turning the final page absently. He noticed, before putting down the final cover, a small addendum in his mother's own handwriting.

_Toadstool's eyes opened, and she looked nervously around the Overthere. She saw Mario almost immediately._

_"__Mario?" she asked._

_"__Toadstool," he replied softly. Their soft embrace lasted thirty minutes, as we know them. Toadstool had lost Mario once. She was not prepared to lose him again._

"Aw…" Luma said, closing the book, and looking around the library for its resting place.

"Here, I'll take that," I said, entering the room at last.

"Mama?" the Luma asked.

"Yes… that tale didn't end well…" I said, stowing the book in its proper place. "That was a few cycles ago. But the tale of their death has touched me forevermore…" I led the Luma out to a protruding platform on the Comet Observatory, and pointed out a constellation I had created, visible from here.

It depicted Mario and Toadstool, their love captured in starlight.

"Mama, when I grow up, I want to be in that constellation," the Luma said. I smiled happily.


End file.
